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Happy “The Indians bailed the settlers’ asses out, and all they got was this lousy smallpox!” day.
I don’t really hate Thanksgiving, even though I sometimes feel like I should. I mean, it’s basically a holiday to celebrate gluttony. Just don’t get me started on Columbus Day.
Excuse me, but I have to go perform the most important Thanksgiving tradition–listen to Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant.”

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