Katherine Mankiller

Revise-o-rama...

Jen found much to fix in the time dilation story. Curses, foiled again! :)

As far as I can tell the biggest problem is the technology level in the story not being unclear. Well, okay, probably a better way to phrase it would be unclarity in general, which is often my bête noir. I always assume people know what I'm talking about when they don't, and the longer I look at a story the more I do it. Alas. And Brian is no use; he always knows what I mean because he's my hunka hunka burnin' luv.

Better to find it now than to send it out unclear, so yay! and edit, edit, edit.