This is a very useful link for the nightmare story, even if not all the items apply to the story in question. Also, I think I was writing with the wrong POV character, although I wouldn’t have known that if I hadn’t attempted a draft, since it took me an abortive draft attempt to really figure out what’s going on. Or maybe I should condense characters. In fact, I probably should, because if I change POV characters, the original POV character doesn’t really serve much purpose.
In other news, I suck at running running is very challenging, and I think I’m pushing too hard. My calves inform me that they hate me I need to slow down.